Scars Of a Virginity Lost!

With gnashed teeth and head bowed, i remember that fateful

day when she invited me over, an innocent act i said to

myself-subconsciously trying to placate the other part of

my head that was dogmatically scolding me for answering

her call every single time helplessly like she was nature.

Truth be told though, i was no stranger to her world-her

little paradise had her scent all over and understandably it

felt like home to me, her soft bed was my favourite part of

the room and soon enough i was sprawled on it, as she

came over and gave me the most inviting of welcomes on

my lips. Before long we were away and beyond and as

always i was enthralled in our conversation, enchanted by

her beauty!. I laid wif my head on her laps, she stroked my

hair gently and as i rose to share a gaze wif her, i lost my

soul, for those big brown eyes of hers were magical,

magical beyond words and i laid there, motionless,

watching her talk, watching her smile, watching her live,

watching her in gratitude for the happiness she gave me

and i was so fulfilled, so it was not surprising when a little

over five hours later, a visit that started early in the evening

felt like i had just gotten here but alas it was dark already,

too late to head home but i had to, she wouldnt hear of it,

she chided me sternly, ironically even a reprimand from her

i found endearing. I was ruined and i knew very well the

hopelessness of my case but sadly even that did not help

matters, if at all, it complicated things even more. Finally

like always she had her way with me-i was to spend the

night over!.looking back now, i can't help buh fear it was all

planned right from the start. It was new territory for me, for

never had i spent an entire night alone wif a girl alone

before and thus naturally i was apprehensive but i

reassured myself, i reassured myself wif the fact that i loved

her, i reassured myself wif the fact that i trusted her thus

invariably she wouldn't hurt me.#smh -if wishes were

horses........ gradually but inevitably night came, sleep

beckoned, painfully but truthfully it dawned on me i couldn't

keep guard anymore, i had to let go and as she took me in

her hands and cuddled me, i felt warmth, i felt loved, i felt

safe, like salt in water, my fears were lost, my alarm senses

dissipated- a feeling so peaceful that all i wanted now was

to fall asleep and fall i did!

Asleep i dreamt of a beautiful and serene garden full of

white roses and i was taking a stroll, enjoying the rare yet

breathtaking scenery when suddenly it started to rain blood,

blood turning a charming white garden to a red scary one, i

woke abruptly, disturbed by the dream and subsequently

even more alarmed when i find that she's no longer beside

me, to compound my woes even more, i discover that my

member was at its full length, how it got there i didnt know

and frankly i didn't care for i was greatly embarrassed and

more concerned wif what if she found me in this state? What

would she fink of me? Would she get the wrong impression

of me and fins? It was a swift transition from the tranquil

state i was before now to this chaotic fauxpass, i was still

trying to fathom a way out when suddenly i felt this strange

warmth pervade my member, the feeling

was.................the feeling was..........the feeling was out

of this world, i was wet and i was dripping, i felt something

like a palate move round it, i was shocked, so i raised my

head almost immediately and then i saw, -what i saw was

not for the faint at heart for there re sights a man see's once

in a lifetime and once is more than enough, lo and behold,

she was there, down there and she had it in her mouth, i

was shocked beyond words, i SCREAMED! but unfortunately

the sounds that came out were strange even to my own

ears. I was doomed, like judas, my own body had betrayed

me, pathetic man that i am! She didnt stop there, like an

invading army, she pressed upward in her quest to conquer,

she took my nipples in her mouth, one after the other, poor

things, i can't deny that the feeling was so pleasurable yet it

was strange thus i screamed for her to STOP in protest but

NO! ,for every protest i made or tried to she seemed

#reinvigorated and spurred on. #smh, it was a hopeless

cause, it was apparent-even a #blindchild could tell the

night was not going to end well for me.

Things #escalated when she took my member in her left

hand in an attempt to guide me into her, with every last

strength in my being i resisted and i pleaded wif her to

STOP, with tears already running down my cheek i began

what would turn out to be a futile quest to make her see

reasons, to make her understand that i was not quite ready

yet, it was something i wanted to give as a marriage

present, it was desire to be "met at home", to explain to her

that the act was against my faith and above all to make her

realise that my mom would be very disappointed but NO!

She was not to be moved, her eyes were no longer

charming, they were scary and red wif lust, before i could

pursue my case even further she resumed her madness and

wif even more bite this time, like my protesting had wasted

her time and thus angered her, she needed to make up for

lost time and so wif a single thrust she forced her way in

and involuntarily i recoiled and #SCREAMEDoUTiNpAIN, in

that split second my world tilted on its axis, everyfin went

black-like my eyes were opened yet all i could see was

darkness, i could swear i died and came back.

Despondently, wif tears falling freely i opened my eyes only

to find her staring down at me wif a grin of accomplishment

on her face.#smh...hate on my mind, i felt like a prey that

had just been vanquished!.

#ThemomentThatCouldNeverBeTakenBack!

I reminsce wif eyes closed in disgust and pain as she

penetrated my innocence wif strength and brutality like

never seen before now. I reminsce now wif my heart

thumping, that single moment of heart rending pain i could

never wish away now. Now locked away in room, all alone

in a vacant and pensive mood gloating about my precious

purity- sent on a journey, one never to return from!. Now i

find my poor head filled wif more questions than answers.-

was she worth it?-will dz gloomy sense of loss dat

pervades my entire being ever leave? should i ve fallen for

her charms and sweet talk?- should i ve trusted her?-will i

ever be the same again? As disappointed as i am, why don't

i hate her? Why did she do it? Why did she break my heart?

Why did she violate me? Was this what it was all about for

her? Will she love me even more now? Why did she #take

from me what i didn't #give freely? will i ever be pure

again?

#WillThisScarEverHeal?